Current events.

I'm starting to come out of the coma that is St. Patty's day weekend. Ouch. Apologizes to all who Evil Jay bugged. I got a request for a current events update from Kelly giving my personal opinion on the issues of the day.

Michael Jackson: Guilty shit dick. I don't think there's much doubt about whether he did it, the issue is will he be found guilty. Everyone wants to make the comparison to OJ and now Robert Blake. No comparison folks, they killed their spouses, something we all have at least considered if only for the briefest of moments. Like Chris Rock said, I ain't saying it's right, but I understand. Fucking underage boys? No comparison. Just none. Add in the fact he looks and behaves like a freak, and he is going down (pun intended).

Robert Blake: He was Beretta for goodness sake! He looks like grandpa! His wife was a con woman and deserved to be murdered in cold blood...Wait, I went to far with that. Let's just say that without hard physical evidence, be deserved to walk. And she DID deserve it. Sorry. Nicole Simpson too, but for entirely different reasons which good taste dictates I not get into here.

Terri Schiavo: I couldn't care less but starving her to death does seem inappropriate. Funny, sure, but really inappropriate.

Politics: I can't believe the world hasn't ended yet following the re-election of Bush. Is abortion illegal yet? Must be, guess I just missed the announcement. I can't believe I'm getting drafted too, the world sure is on the brink. I love Bush's pick for the UN ambassador, if you didn' catch it, let me sum it up for you, "Fuck you Kofi, suck on this." He's a piss, what a cowboy.
The Democrats: So it seems like you are out of touch with mainstream America? Im not sure what tipped off the rest of the country, maybe electing a Massachusetts' Senator with a history of extreme liberalism, looking like a hippy, and then dishonoring his military career by returning his medals. Good thinking. Just in case you missed pissing off middle America, have your convention in Boston, which is embroilled in a legalization of gay marriage controversy. Wait, one more thing, slap a Red Sox hat on your candidate! Just in case they missed the accent. Brilliant. So how do you regroup for the next election? Nominate a lunatic from Vermont (state motto: "We love Gay Marriage! And Drugs!") to run your party, despite the fact he had the most public political meltdown since Muskie cried in the '72 and was revealed to be a mental patient with a history of electro-shock therapy (look it up you lazy bastards). Just to make sure you don't have a chance in 2008, position Hillary as your early front runner. I'm just laughing and shaking my head right now. No way could Cheney win presidency, unless of course Dean controls the party and your candidate is Hillary.

Sorry, I get carried away about the democrats cause I'm a former one myself and just can't believe how far the party fell.

NCAA Tournament: What the fuck!?!? I'm clueless, go Tar Heels.

Spurs: Duncan sprained his same ankle for third time this year. Ouch. I just saw the replay again of him rolling it. Brutal. They are done, Go Celts!