Youth

I've decided to exploe my roots a bit. I was trading emails with a friend from my childhood today. A some what infamous friend. I had an email war with him following 9/11. He's Rich Nadeau and he's on my friends list from Myspace.com, which I can't figure out how to link to, so sorry about that. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, I hope this works:
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=15914601&imageID=228877238&Mytoken=742FE77E-FB3D-102E-B362125038A871D922743815
I have always felt that he was the personification of evil, though he denies it vehemently now. It's open to debate, but I'll say I'd still sit down with him for a drink. Of course I'd sit down with Hitler if there were drinks involved. I really don't know where to begin, so I guess I'll give some background. I'm the youngest of three children, born seven years after my middle sister. I was the last ditch effort of my mother to save her marriage. Didn't work, they divorced when I was two years old. My mother was chronically depressed throughout my life, which was fun for me. She's great now, they put her on anti-depressants when she hit menopause. It's all good now but falls in the too little, too late category for me. I dealt with all this long ago, so I just abuse alcohol and pretend everything is cool. Kidding, I just really love booze and mind altering chemicals. I'll deal with that someover time. The point of all this is that I lived in an apartment complex growing up, surrounded by other children of divorce. All of our parent's were totally fucked up, so we all could relate.
My first memory of Mr. Nadeau was from my paper route. Yes, I was a paper boy. The Lowell Sun. While trying to make my afternoon deliveries, Nadeau would hide in hallways, woods, or behind parked cars. Upon my arrival, he would attack me and proceed to sit on my chest. He is and always has been a fat motherfucker. He wouldn't let me go for hours. Delay all my deliveries so I got in trouble. What could I do? I think I was fucking ten years old! I certainly couldn't tell on him, even at that age I realized that was the pussy way out. "I know, I'll kick him in the genitals every time I see him." This actually worked and won his respect. I'd take a fucking vicious beating afterward from him, but it was the only option. I'll never forget that fat bastard taking my best shot in the balls, taking a deep breath, and then dropping me where I stood. Everyone around was completely shocked. It was around 1:00pm in the summer outside the community pool. People everywhere. No one understood why I attacked him. Just a blatant, unprovoked kick in the nuts. People fucking gasped, then the big bastard stood up, reared back, and fucking leveled me! No one understood what was going on, but he and I reached a turning point in our relationship right then. I agreed not to blind side him again, he agreed to stop fucking with my paper route. Notice I didn't say stop fucking with me, just my work. Trust me, he still fucked with me, and I still attacked him for no reason when I felt I could get away with it.
I know people don't like lists but I got to get this down before I forget. Things Nadeau and I have been involved in:
1. Killing many animals.
2. Burned a car.
3. Molested a retarded girl (Stoney!).
4. Lured someone into the woods and beat the fucking shit out of them.
5. Terrorized a family to the point the police got involved.
6. Ripped off someone's grandmother (Weagle).
7. Stole liquor from a funeral parlor, during Nadeau's grandmother's funeral. Okay, I did that. He did drink it with me though and then attempted to jump off a cliff. We'll come back to this.
8. Put a huge cookie into someone's VCR. Tried to make it play. It wouldn't.
9. Put his muffler on a NH State trooper's car. Actually Dumas did that, Though I was there and it was Nadeau's muffler.
10. Been kicked out of the state of New Hampshire. See #9.
11. I watched Nadeau get hit in the face with a #1 wood. It was unintentional but hilarious.
I'm stopping at ten, there is so much to explain. Let's start with # 1. They say cruelty to animals is the early warning sign of a socio-path. They're right! After my paper route I'd always drop by Nate's. He'd be home alone and would be reluctant to let me in. I always figured he was just jerking off, but I'd force myself in anyways. "Put your dick away fat boy, I got some weed." He would slowly open the door while giggling, "I'm not jerking off! I'm doing an experiment." I remember two experiments vividly. The first involved his elderly German Shepard, Lady. He had taped or tied his front right leg to his back left leg. We smoked a joint while commenting how we should let her go (we were about 12 years old). We decided against that, and Nadeau went to the kitchen and put the can opener on. The noise drove the dog crazy. It tried to hobble to the kitchen to find food, so of course we decide to light the dog on fire. He sprayed her with his mother's perfume and lit her on fire. We put it out before the dog was hurt, I guess. His apartment smelled like a concentration camp. Laughing my young, high ass off, I slipped into his mother's room and turned her crucifix upside down, put 666 on the microwave, and hightailed it the fuck out of there.
Here's the pone call I got later, "Dude, my mother thinks I'm a Satanist and Lady has no hair!"
"Tell her black people did it. Don't mention my name. Plus tell her she's a fat cunt."
Nate's response, "I'm going to kill you. Very funny, I think she can hear me, you are so dead."
I got to take a break, I'll continue this topic later. Cheers motherfuckers!