Earth Day

Yesterday was Earth Day, so as always I spent the day burning tires and pouring used motor oil down storm drains. Earth Day is just one of those days that has always bugged me. I went to college at UNH (New Hampshire) and it was simply filthy with hippies. It was so bad they almost converted me. There was even a guy we called Freedom John, I think, I just remember the Freedom part from the old "Freedom Rock" ablum they used to advertise constantly on late night TV. Anyway, this freak once yelled at me for flicking a cigarette butt on the ground. "Dude, that's not cool! I always put mine out and carry an empty container to put them in, you know?"
I was high and drinking, "That's great, pick up mine for me too, DUDE!" Needless to say he nor any of his group liked me. Fuck 'em, I didn't like them either. I was just trying to fuck the chicks they hung out with. Something about hippy chicks, free love...you get the idea.
I don't really like most holidays, except for the fact I don't have to work. Earth day is the worst to me because it has a politically correct theme with no historical precedent. I'd research the history of the holiday but I don't really give a fuck. Maybe the UN started it? I used to know back at UNH because it was force fed to us, luckily I've blocked all that out now. Or maybe it's because a solid 10% of my life is spent in an alcoholic black out. Either way, I'm happier not remembering.
I'll close with the shortest joke I know, "A baby seal walks into a club..."
Cheers Motherfuckers!