Learn to Swim

I wrote this over a week ago the day after the opening day loss to the yankees:
David Wells threw that first game. Hitting Giambi twice, give me a break. I kept waiting for him to rip off that Bosox shirt to reveal a yanks jersey underneath. Deplorable. Chris Brown has been trying to bait me about the Yanks winning, but I really don't care anymore. Of course I'd love to see the World Champion Boston Red Sox beat up on the yanks, but it's no longer as important. We won, we did it, the monkey is off our back. The yanks have the tag of biggest chokers, so finally the shoe is on the other foot.

Back to the present: The Bosox raised the banner, had a ton of Boston sports legends there, and then beat up the yankees. Good day. Tony from the beach house was in town that day for real estate classes. He came over and watched the game with me. He brought his beach house check with him, which he had claimed to have mailed almost 3 weeks ago. Funny part is, he really had mailed it, to "Jay Mills Apt 4L Hoboken NJ 07030". The dolt had forgotten to put the street! To his credit, he was man enough to bring the returned envelope with him and take his mocking like a man. I hope to have the envelope scanned in when Shal has some spare time. Anyway, Tony brought a twelve-pack with him which we proceeded to drink during the game. He goes to his class, which is at Hoboken High School, about 2 blocks from my apartment. He calls me during his class break, "Hey, can I drop by for a quick beer, this class is killing me." "Sure, come on by, but I drank the rest of the beers. You'll need to pick some more up." Tony pauses, "Christ, that's gonna cut into my break time. Fuck it, I'll be there in a minute." Shows up with another six pack, proceeds to down 2 in about 15 minutes, and then runs back to class. Late from break. He earned my utmost respect by doing this, way to go Tony! Even funnier, both times I answered my door bell, I'd say "Red Sox Nation", and he'd reply "Beer delivery!"

Best sign I saw this week: Big black homeless guy, "Ninjas killed my family, need money for Kung-Fu lessons fast!" I laughed and then kicked him.

In my video game Manhunt, I'm now hacking off my enemies heads and then throwing them around to make noise to lure other enemies. As the head rolls around it leaves blood trails. Sweet.

Black Pope: I remember when they elected John Paul, the first Polish Pope. There were a good 2 years of Polish Pope jokes. Can you imagine if we have a black Pope? Five years of jokes, minimum. I can't think of one yet, but I'll work on it.